From the pages of mister density
By Generic Mike
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Recently I was browsing through the used and discarded videos at my local Blockbuster Video, where among the seemingly endless copies of Ernest Goes to Camp and Dorf on Golf was Crispin’s made-for-TV movie, High School U.S.A. I quickly snatched up this prize before it could fall into the wrong hands and threw it on the counter along with my cash. The kid behind the register did a contrived double take at the cover, rolled his eyes, and with all the smarm a drama- school dropout could muster, sighed a strained “Why?” “Crispin Glover!” I mewled, my eyes all aglow. Never mind this is the fifth Crispin video I’ve rescued from the castaway bin of a chain that doesn’t recognize any sort of art or quality as it pretends to be a leader in the “fight” for “family values.” Never mind I was willing to pay cold hard cash for this movie, regardless of how good or bad it is–and let’s not kid ourselves, I know it’s an awful flick. The truth is, I was being ridiculed for a purchase by some schmuck who spends his dateless nights working for a company big enough that it should have brainwashed him better than that. Well, all acts of revenge were put aside when I watched High School U.S.A. again and realized what lies in store for those who mess with Crispin.
By this time in Anthony Edwards’s career, Crispin has apparently seen him suffer many times over, enough to have atoned for his great sins. Edwards is rewarded by becoming the charming, personable resident doctor of TV’s ER, but still in a position which shall remind him constantly of the suffering he could have continued to experience.
