You can stop looking for that check in the mail. Chances are it’s been dumped! Four Chicago mail carriers alone disposed of more than 2,100 pieces of deliverable mail this year. U.S. attorney spokesman Randall Samborn says statistics aren’t compiled yet for ’97, but he believes there may have been as many as 20 such cases by October. On the brighter side, Samborn also says “a couple dozen a year is normal.”
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What’s Wrong With These Terrorists?
What could be more foolish than taking hostages in a place that commandos can surround and storm at their leisure? (Besides hijacking a plane, that is!) This year saw two high-profile hostage situations: the Republic of Texas standoff and the takeover of the Japanese embassy in Lima, Peru. The Texas rebels made their first mistake by holing up in a trailer, calling it their “embassy.” The slightly smarter Tupac Amaru guerrillas in Peru picked a real embassy, roomy enough that the hostages could stay upstairs while their captors played soccer downstairs. Still, Peruvian commandos blasted their way in from tunnels beneath the embassy floor and slaughtered the rebels in about 15 minutes. An army officer told Time magazine that whenever a commando ran past a rebel corpse, he’d shoot it again just to be safe: “Each terrorist must have had 500 bullets in him when it was over. Their heads were destroyed.” Yuck! This cross section of the Japanese embassy shows the rebels making seven incredibly stupid mistakes that got them all killed. Can you spot the errors? Answers on back. –Cate Plys
Spot the Impostor
To our customers: Service cuts are unfortunately necessary to balance our budget, control costs, and strengthen our core system. These changes include elimination of most nighttime service to Austin, Pilsen, Humboldt Park, North Lawndale, and Kenwood-Oakdale.
Effective Sunday, November 9, 1997
We realize that burning to death is extremely painful, and we are trying to rectify the situation.
