The real political atrocity this year was the choice of Clinton or Dole. Joan Rivers got it right when she noted that picking between them was like choosing your favorite Menendez brother. But Chicago’s puttering pols stalwartly held their own, patting themselves on their collective back because the 1996 Democratic Convention didn’t result in a repeat of the 1968 police riots. And guess what–the Haymarket riot, 1919 race riot, Chicago Fire, and Fort Dearborn massacre also did not recur. Great planning, guys.
When Big Jim Thompson was U.S. attorney here, he caught crooked politicians in flagrante. Lighter weight Little Jim Burns can’t seem to catch any real crooks, so he hires sleazeballs to go undercover and create crooks by offering small-time bribes to small-time politicians. These small-time politicians (some of whom will receive their own nominations below) never get cut in on the city’s big-buck deals. So many of them took the bait, giving Little Jim lots of headlines. Little Jim tossed a tarnished silver shovel of dirt on more than a third of the City Council by subpoenaing 18 aldermen’s ethics and financial records. He managed to spread the dirt far enough to hit some decent people like Joe Moore, alderman of the 49th Ward. But hey–Little Jim got himself even more headlines.
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The first small-time crook Burns snared was Alderman Ambrosio Medrano, who confessed to taking bribes for political favors such as helping to falsely certify a firm as a minority business. Medrano begged forgiveness from his constituents, and they displayed their collective divinity by electing him Democratic ward committeeman about two months later.
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Al Salvi, surprise winner of the GOP primary for U.S. Senate, just wasn’t ready for prime time. Not only was he against abortion in any circumstance, he wanted to let people carry concealed weapons and also to repeal the assault weapons ban. Finally, he accused Ronald Reagan’s former press secretary, Jim Brady, permanently disabled from shots fired at Ronald Reagan, of once being a machine gun dealer. With impeccable political timing, State’s Attorney Jack O’Malley endorsed Salvi at the very press conference at which Salvi recanted. Thus sealing both their fates.
Our mayor continued making his father sound like Einstein this year. A sampling:
A recent survey shows that Chicago has the poorest mail delivery of 39 major metropolitan areas. Perhaps Poor Richard might bring this up in his next conversation with the Almighty.
