What’s the name of that black stuff athletes smear on their faces to deflect the sun? Does it work? –Rita J., Kansas City, Missouri
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Does eye black work? It’s debatable. Most soccer players don’t use it and God knows what it’s supposed to do for football linemen. But it does seem to reduce the glint off your cheeks in bright sunlight, obviously a matter of some consequence if you’re a baseball outfielder, and word from the physics department is that in one respect it’s better than sunglasses, in that it doesn’t slow down your reaction time. Fact is, the brain processes darker images more slowly than bright ones. Proof: swing a golf ball back and forth in front of you from a string. If you cover one eye with a filter, the ball, which was formerly moving in a straight line, will appear to swing in an oval. Why? The filtered eye sees things later than the unfiltered eye. When the unfiltered eye sees the motion stop, the filtered eye sees it still moving. The brain interprets this as the ball moving at an angle, i.e., in an oval. The delay is very slight, but it’s still something to think about next time you’re called upon to field a screaming line drive.
THE LAST WORD (PROBABLY) ON “AMERICAN PIE”
HOWEVER, MERKIN PIE IS ANOTHER STORY
I was merely passing along an off-the-wall interpretation from the Internet, and thought I was doing Scotch manhood a favor. Not while the Teeming Millions are on the job, however. “Nay, lassie, this large furrrrah thing is nae a merkin/codpiece/conspicuous phallic symbol. It’s a purrrrse.”
