I have never understood why Circus Peanuts (orange, gooey, diabetic coma-inducing, peanut-shaped candy) are still available. I have never known anyone who actually likes this candy and I have asked everyone I know. So, Cecil, can you give me a little information about who invented this candy treat, why they are colored orange, and any other interesting tidbits you could provide.
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(1) Fear and loathing. Sample comments: “Ewwwww! I tried one once. It was like eating a dead finger.” “They taste like they’re stale even when they’re fresh.” “Like orange-flavored Styrofoam.” “I think they are the horror that is the circus, that flat tin taste of fear and clowns and little lost children amid the cotton candy stink and the piles of elephant doo-doo and the clamor of the midway and the tinny sound of the circus band endlessly wheezing its way through yet another soulless circus fanfare.” You get the idea. My assistant Jane found that the few stray Circus Peanut molecules escaping from an unopened package made her gag.
(2) Grudging acceptance. Sample comments: “Yeah, I like them. When they get hard enough you can use them for building material.” “It wouldn’t be my first pick, but if there was a bowlful at grandma’s, I’d take a couple.” Cecil personally falls into this category. Having done this job 25 years, I can put up with anything.
What accounts for Circus Peanuts’ unusual taste and appearance? Cecil found an answer in some publicity material from Spangler Candy, “a producer of superior Marshmallow Circus Peanuts.” The following pretty much sums it up: “Over the years the best-selling item has been orange in color, banana in flavor, and peanut in shape.”
Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago 60611; E-mail him at cecil@chireader.com; or visit the Straight Dope area at America Online, keyword: Straight Dope.
