Sorry, dear, you’ve been replaced. For $120, Hammacher Schlemmer’s fall catalog offers Safe-T-Man, “a life-size companion designed as a visual deterrent to criminals…lead[ing] them to believe you have the protection of a male companion whether he’s seated in the passenger’s seat of your car or near a window in your home.” Other good points: “he” weighs only eight pounds, has a carry bag ($39.95), and discusses relationships just as well as your current model.
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What’s worse than being on welfare? Being on it and not knowing it. The Midwest Journal (Summer) quotes Nino Noriega, identified as a Republican candidate for Chicago mayor: “Today very few, if any, of the [suburban] families or corporate migrants realize that a vast system of subsidies artificially suppresses their costs for transportation and land-use below market rates. Today, user taxes cover only about 60 per cent of U.S. road costs. In fact, the so-called ‘free’ parking around suburban office parks and shopping centers costs the federal government some $85 billion per year in tax deductions to property owners. The total federal subsidy to motorists per year is about $300 billion, or about $2,400 per car, making our road system the nation’s biggest welfare queen. Yet, most suburbanites believe that they’re ‘paying their way.’ The subsidies that underlie their lifestyle have dropped below the threshold of awareness.”
Memo to participants in the underground economy: The IRS mole is tunneling in your direction. The income tax “gap” between what people owe and what they pay is up to $127 billion, according to IRS estimates in a May General Accounting Office report. “IRS estimated that $94 billion was caused by individuals and $33 billion by corporations. Across all individual taxpayers the largest part of the tax gap arose from unreported [legal] income–$63 billion. Overall, IRS estimated that taxpayers voluntarily paid 82 percent of their income tax liabilities. IRS’ goal is for voluntary compliance to reach 90 percent by 2000.”
