The ascension of Newt Gingrich to speaker of the House is surely the political atrocity of the year–if not the decade. Imagine, however, the competition for this honor had the folks in Virginia given us Senator Oliver North, or Californians thrust Senators Michael and Arianna Huffington upon us! All we could hurl at our fellow Americans was Congressman Michael Patrick Flanagan.
Reynolds Rap: Mel Reynolds, the distinguished gentleman from the Second District of Chicago, gave us a doubleheader. First, a local indictment for having sex with an underaged campaign worker, soliciting her for child pornography, and obstructing justice in an attempt to cover it up. Then, a federal investigation of his campaign financing activities. “If I were a white congressman with the same background, would this have happened? I think not,” said Reynolds, ignoring all his white colleagues indicted and convicted of similar crimes. Anyone ready to bring back Gus Savage?
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Rosty Gets the Bird: In his successful primary battle the chairman claimed to have obtained a helicopter for the fire department as a sign of his ability to deliver the goods. After a dramatic landing for the TV cameras, the so-called Porkchopper disappeared, and it was learned that the helicopter we saw had been here all along. By election time the new Porkchopper had not been delivered. It finally arrived in December, too late to rescue Rostenkowski.
Judy Judy Judy: Even the good folk can indulge in a touch of deception, as witness the official-looking window envelopes delivered to state rep Judy Erwin’s constituents with the return address “Department of Elections, IHDM, Springfield, IL” and the imprint “Important Voter Notification.” Something about your registration? Nope. It was a form letter from Senator Paul Simon extolling Erwin’s otherwise real virtues.
Cussed Kustra: Lieutenant Governor Bob Kustra tendered his resignation in order to take a job as a radio talk host. Following Jim Edgar’s heart problem, he reversed his position and stayed on the ballot–promising to serve out his term. Now he is aiming for Paul Simon’s Senate seat. But what if they offer him a cable TV show?
Commenting on a city crackdown on restaurant sanitation he observed, “If a rat is on your sandwich, it would help to know it before. If a mouse is in your salad–it’s common sense.”
Then her geniuses decided maybe she should try appealing to women–an astounding leap for a Democratic woman–and they made a commercial saying she looked like someone’s Aunt Thelma.
