“I’m really glad they didn’t send a woman reporter,” says Ray Wardingley. “They make me open up, let my guard down. You can’t say no to a pretty woman. Especially not now, after I’ve just woke up.”
“Heh, heh,” Wardingley says as she walks away. “She’s a funny one. You know, I wish I could have got it together, brought my platform here for you to read. But it’s in the car, which just blew up on me this morning. Pffft–the battery’s dead. You know, the old girl just ain’t what she used to be.”
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Wardingley, one of eight Republican mayoral candidates on the ballot, ran for mayor once before, in 1979. He’d worked part-time as Spanky the Clown at Chicago Sting soccer games, and he ran in the primary wearing his clown guise as a way to raise money for the children’s cancer ward at Saint Jude’s. “I wasn’t on the ballot as Spanky the Clown. That was touchy. It was under my real name, but they knew. I had my clown outfit on, and they knew.” He received 2,877 votes, nearly 16,000 fewer than the winner, Wallace Johnson, finishing fourth of four candidates.
He outlines his campaign ideas, which include eliminating the school board, the head tax, school busing, and bilingual education. “Why should I speak Spanish? This is America. Speak English. That’s not racist–it’s a fact.” He’s also in favor of school prayer. “I’m a religious person. I’m not overreligious, but I believe in God. I believe in country, you know. Maybe apple pie and all that stuff.” He laughs.
The waitress, who has reappeared, laughs. Wardingley glares at her. “Yeah, I’ll be out there. I don’t think I’ll get publicity, television or radio. I’m not spending any money on television. They don’t feel any Republican can win anyway. They don’t even want me on the ballot. Imagine a guy, a clown, winning, being the candidate for the Republican Party?” He breaks up laughing, then takes a sip of coffee.
