Hey faggot:
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I am a relatively “normal” heterosexual male in my late 20s with one problem: herpes. I don’t have a problem getting dates or going out, but when it’s time to hop into bed, I have to admit what I have, and as you can probably guess, the results aren’t great. How and/or where can I meet others with herpes? Mine is a rather mild case, if you can call any herpes infection mild. I’ve thought about the personals but haven’t gotten that far yet–any suggestions? –Lonely
Still don’t wanna do the personals? Well, 30 million Americans have genital herpes. Not only are there tons of dating and support groups for people in your shoes–check out the bulletin boards or classifieds sections of weekly newspapers–odds are pretty good one of the girls you “admit” you have herpes to is gonna admit the same thing right back at you.
And neither have I. But that doesn’t mean “velvet fetishists” don’t exist. You name it, someone somewhere has a fetish for it: raincoats, high heels, Bass Weejuns, chopsticks, diapers, umbrellas, and on and on. Any reasonably understanding partner oughta indulge your harmless kink. No need to sweat it, no need to look for a support group, no need to write letters to me.
According to my pal Nance’s very cute doctah-boyfriend, Dr. Barak Gaster–whose first name means “lightening, shining, gleaming” in Hebrew–the fungus responsible for athlete’s foot can’t grow in your mouth. Of course, not all funky feet are suffering from athlete’s foot, but I wanted the doc to address a worst-case scenario. “They [the fungi] like it cool, they don’t like it hot–and it’s hot in your mouth and cool near your feet, at least comparatively. There are minimal, if any, health risks from licking dirty feet.” For “dirty feet” please read: sweaty, sock-skanky feet. Don’t go licking and sucking the toes of someone who’s been padding around barefoot in a sex club, or mucking out horse stalls without wearing boots. Go for funky, avoid filth.
- Expecting vaginal, clitoral, and oral satisfaction, although not necessarily in that order, during the same experience?
