Hey, Faggot:
Hey, C:
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Easton, a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor with a private practice in–where else?–San Francisco, has been into SM for almost 25 years. Before she “came out” about her desires she found herself in a similar situation to the one you describe. “I spent my idle youth hunting down rough trade in the streets of New York, and I finally wound up with a first-class batterer. So I’m not surprised she found somebody who was really exciting who turned out to be a ‘headcase.’” It’s like this, Chicago: if you bop through life hoping to meet men who by chance happen to share your desires, or if you encourage the men you’re involved with to be “slightly physically abusive,” you may well find yourself with men who will use your desires as a pretext to abuse you. A man who is openly into SM–who has thought about it and read about it and is involved to some extent in the SM community–is a much safer bet. He’s likelier to know what the boundaries and limits are, to possess a vocabulary that allows him to articulate his desires and help you articulate yours, and to understand where fantasy ends and reality begins.
And lastly, why on earth did you send me this letter? Did you have a question? Was this some sort of mission statement? What gives?
Right you are. In jumping all over FE’s beans, I neglected to take into consideration the very real possibility that he or his girlfriend might be allergic to latex. All I heard was yet another straight boy claiming that condoms “didn’t work” for him. And I overreacted. And I’m so very sorry. But, FE, and other latex-intolerant folks, please note: while effective birth control, lambskin condoms do not provide the protection against STDs that latex does–bugs that can’t pass through latex can pass through sheep gut. Butt fuckers beware! Lambskin will not protect you against HIV infection! Another option for the latex intolerant is the relatively new polyurethane condom, sold under the brand name Avanti. They keep both sperms and bugs at bay, and as they’re not latex, you can use any ol’ kind of grease you want to for lube, including, for you retro butt fuckers, Crisco.
