Hey, Faggot:
Hey, SITM:
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I get a lot of letters like yours–not usually so verbose, but same issues, different circumstances–and it’s beginning to get on my nerves: “I have this problem, I’ve identified it, I understand why I act this way, I’ve come to the conclusion that this behavior makes me miserable. What should I do?” Which is, when you stop and think about it, a none-too-subtle variation on “Doctor, it hurts when I go like this.” And what does the doctor say? “Stop going like that.”
This is a desperate plea. I am a 34-year-old male, almost 35, and I am still a virgin! I can’t stand it! I’ve been crazy about one woman or another all my life, but none are interested in me. I’ve definitely dreamed of a relationship, but now it’s gotten to where I just wanna have sex already. I’m not even sure if I’d be able to do it right. What can I do? — Desperate in Illinois
Too shy to approach women? Use personal ads–and be completely honest about your looks and your sexual history, or lack thereof. And finally, if losing that pesky virginity is your top priority, consider hiring somebody to help you out. Nevada, I hear, is lovely this time of year. Holland? Lovely year-round. Sex-industry workers are some of the nicest people you could want to meet–they understand–and professional sex workers are often as sympathetic to their clients’ emotional needs as they are to their physical needs.
–T
I’ve received some mail for you, sweetness. If you’d like me to forward it to you, please write with a return address.
