Hey, Faggot:
–Peter
Best of Chicago voting is live now. Vote for your favorites »
Let’s get the important stuff out of the way first: it’s “regardless,” not “irregardless.”
Add this to the mix: the fact that gay men are, first and foremost, men, suffering from the same “intimacy issue/fear of commitment” bullshit that plagues our breeder brothers; the not-so-tender mercies of the AIDS crisis; the never-ending slander and assaults on gay people’s rather limited rights by the Pat Robertsons of this world–and it’s a wonder gay men can get out of bed in the morning, let alone form lasting, loving, healthy relationships.
If settling down is important to you, you’re going to have to do a little settling for. No two people are perfect for each other; long-term relationships are a series of tensely negotiated truces. If you can’t hack it, get thee to a bathhouse, go! But on your way to the tubs, don’t call into question the ability of the rest of the gay men in the world to truly love each other just because you’re sexually and socially stunted. And don’t have higher expectations of the gay community than you would of any other community. I am sick to fucking death of listening to guys complain about the gay “community” not being a real community because they can’t find a lover, or they don’t do well at the baths, or they were mistreated by someone or other who happens to be gay. Does everyone in the deaf “community” love each other unreservedly? How about the IV-drug-using “community”? Does the entire Jewish “community” get along? Of course not! The gay community is not a birthday party being thrown for you by your mother. The community is not responsible for making you happy, making you feel welcome, or finding you a boyfriend. That’s your job. The gay community is an opportunity, a space you can visit or live in. In this hard-won space, you can find potential friends and lovers–and plenty of enemies and assholes. But it’s all up to you.
