Hey, Faggot:
So much so that I’m seriously considering taking the one-night-stand route (which has never been appealing to me). Furthermore, sexual/emotional/intellectual compatibility are intertwined assets which I have a difficult time separating. The result is that I find myself jealous of those people who can fuck first and ask questions later.
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You have two probs: You want to lose that darn virginity, and you want a deep and meaningful relationship. Taking care of number one might take care of number two. You’d be surprised just how many cheap and meaningless relationships blossom, in time, into full-blown, lovey-dovey, deep meaningfulness. In other words, sometimes Mr. Right Now turns out to be Mr. Right. A one-night stand becomes a two-night stand, then three, four, and five. Before you know it, that dead-gorgeous stranger you picked up on the subway is your friggin’ boyfriend, and you’re forced to tell friends and family the most appalling lies about how you met.
So the next time you’re attracted to some guy–and he’s attracted to you–fuck him! Fuck him! Fuck him! He might be the one! Then again, he might not. He might be another of those complete boneheads–but if you fuck him right away, you won’t know that until after you’ve lost your damn virginity.
–Tired and Elated
I’m a 26-year-old het guy. When corporate stress gets me down, I like to relax by scoring a soothing hand job or tit fuck from an escort girl/”masseuse.” Does this put me at risk for exposure to HIV? If not, how risky would it be to get a blow job from an escort using a condom?
This is an entirely unsolicited opinion, as you didn’t ask for my opinion of tit fucking, and tit fucking isn’t even the issue here–safety is–but it’s my column: were I into women, I would doubtless be into tit fucking. But it has always seemed to me that the person doing the fucking must look absolutely ridiculous to the person providing the tits. Look up, and there’s this guy squattin’ over you, huffin’ and puffin’ away. Look down, and the head of his dick is popping in and out of your cleave like a spazzed-out turtle or, I don’t know, something. Then the turtle pukes all over your chin. Gee, if I were getting tit fucked, I don’t think I’d be able to keep a straight face. Unless, of course, I was being paid to.
