Hey, Faggot:
Hey, STF:
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What can you do to prevent farts? You could mix Beano in with your lube or get a cosmetic colostomy, but not even these extreme measures will fart-proof your ass. It is an ass, after all, and despite our best efforts to eroticize the rear end away from its other natural uses, the butthole remains attached to the digestive tract’s terminus, eliminating poop, gas, undigested kernels of corn, and condoms filled with heroin, as need be. When it comes to anal sex, sometimes gas (or worse) happens.
Don’t laugh at this letter, because I’m completely fucking serious. I’m a 17-year-old lesbian. My sister is an 18-year-old breeder. Her 23-year-old boyfriend wants to have a baby. My sister is not ready for a child. I’m ready to have a baby, as long as he and I don’t actually have to fuck, and we don’t get emotionally attached. These conditions are fine with me, because it’s what I want too. Her boyfriend agreed to it, as long as he has no legal ties to me and the baby, it’s all kept secret, and he can still see the baby. These conditions are acceptable to me.
Hey, NFN:
All you need to do to break the curse is for each of you to mail 10 boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (30 total), each box in a separate envelope, to Isadora Alman at the address above. Then you will be free.
