January 2
January 21
Another American home was found stuffed with guns and bombs, this time in Roopville, Georgia. Aubrey Mark Turner allegedly lifted propane tanks from a store and when sheriff’s deputies tracked him to his home took a shot at them from the bushes. Inside they reportedly found 16 bombs. Sheriff Tony Reeves reassured everyone that Turner had no connection to the Olympic Park bombing: “He was just a local boy that liked to make bombs.”
March 6
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State senator Denny Jacobs of East Moline criticized the lower alcohol limit, claiming it would cost Illinois 20,000 jobs. That prompted senator Marty Butler of Park Ridge to mention a Mothers Against Drunk Driving display in the state capitol, which featured 2,300 pictures of Illinoisans killed by drunk drivers: “If that were a legitimate concern about saving jobs, then we all ought to walk over to that [exhibit] and say, ‘Thank you. Each one of you contributed to the economic well-being of this state. You died for a good cause because you saved jobs.’”
Lorie A. LaFata pleaded idiot when she was accused of selling diplomas from the fictional “Loyola State University.” A bachelor’s degree went for $1,995, and credit could be earned for activities like “buying a Persian carpet.” The Illinois attorney general’s office sued LaFata for consumer fraud and deceptive practices, and said LaFata was cooperating in the investigation. LaFata told the Sun-Times: “I’m stupid and I have nothing in my defense.”
March 25
